Why are you still in that closet?

Man, I’m a little fed up with this whole men on the downlow thing. The latest alleged casualty in this is Mr. Cee from hot 97, but really, fellas, if your choice is to be with a man, why hide it? I think that sisters have enough to deal with already, and to add the possibility of them dating a man who desires to be with other men is unacceptable. Not only that, the possible exposure to diseases is surmountable, because a wife or a girlfriend may not even be aware that her man is carelessly dibbing and dabbing on the other side of the fence. Not to say that gay people are more proned to diseases than straight people, but the risk can be higher if you’re having unprotected sex with both men and women.

To all my thug-loving ladies who feel that a man is more masculine because he displays thugish characteristic, think again. If your grown ass man has no problem wearing his pants sagged below his ass, you should be concerned. If he randomly tries to insult homosexuals for no reason, you should be concerned. If he tries too hard to defend himself against homosexual tendencies that he may possess, you should be concerned. If your man seems to be a little too homophobic, you should be concerned, because he might just be too afraid of himself. The hardcore outer shell and attitude carried by some men should no longer be allowed to be a safehaven to conceal their homosexuality.

Ladies, get to know your man. No one can completely hide from who he truly is forever. I say this because I feel, as a man, I can be left exposed as well. I would hate to be the next man to date a woman who was dating a careless brother who was on the downlow.

Brothers, you should accept and be happy with who you are. If you truly want a family, but you’re not into women, get a male partner and adopt as a gay couple. Don’t go around playing with women’s emotions, because when they’re left scorned, all men become suspects and we all suffer the consequences. I thought being gay was meant to be happy? I think society has progressed to the point where the gay community has gained too much footing for a man to be afraid to come out the closet. The sooner you come out, the better your life and everybody’s life around you will be. Be openly happy!

5 replies
  1. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    Amen! Please say that again! In all seriousness, thank you for sharing great wisdom and insight.

    Some black women already feel that we face enough competition for black men thanks to incarceration and interracial dating. We don’t need to compete with homosexuality too.

  2. Naija
    Naija says:

    Well I was about to write a blog today and noticed your post which you’ve nicely took the words out of my mouth. This is a great post and I agree wholeheartedly with your sentiment. I truly appreciate your insight around being concerned about men who aggressively insult gays, tries too hard to defend himself, etc. I’ve been around these men and we’ve fallen out each time I’ve made them aware that their anger seems deeply self-rooted and perhaps they have an issue they aren’t dealing with. I have several gay friends and love them all to pieces. Not once has any of them ever tried to turn me. They aren’t even interested in me. So when I see brothers tripping over another men’s sexuality too hard, it’s pause for concern. Especially if it’s my man carrying on.

    Nice post!

  3. D
    D says:

    This is a nice post and @ the same time very touchy!

    Coming out of the closet is not as simple as it may seems. We’re leaving in a society who is ready to scrutinizes and judges every moves one can make.

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