It’s fair to say that some men don’t really take the time to think about what it’s like for a child to grow up without a father, especially in the black community.
Today’s a very special day to me because it’s my daughter’s 7th birthday. I have not written a blog in a while, but I want to take the time out today to write this blog, because I want the brothers to start thinking about the impact of their presence in a child’s life, as well as, their own lives. There’s quite a few angry men out there who aren’t afraid to use the lack of a father figure in their life when they were kids as an excuse, or a crutch for their failure in society. However, these same men are also turning their backs on their children today. Have they lost consciousness when it comes to parenting? Why would they want to repeat a cycle that was so detrimental to their own upbringing? Does psychology have more to do with this than we’re willing to admit?
To me, being a father wasn’t a choice, it was what I needed to do and what I wanted to be after my daughter was born. Though my own father isn’t the best example, but I can still remember the great things he brought into my life. I try to one up on him when it comes to my daughter. Whatever my father did, I want to do it ten times better. Whatever he did wrong with me, I want to correct it with my daughter. And whatever he didn’t do, I want to make sure I do it for my own child. That’s how I can improve life for my next generation. You have to set the bar higher, so that the examples are better for each new generation. It may take a few generations, but eventually things will be better and the standards will stick.
There isn’t a moment that I spend with my daughter that I’m not amazed by her. She says the darnedest things, sometimes. I learn so much from her as a man. She has changed me as a person and I know that she’s happy that my presence is constant in her life. My daughter is very territorial when it comes to her dad. No one can touch me or say anything bad about me around her. She gives me hugs and kisses for no reason at all. I also do the same. The benefits of being a dad is not only for the well-being of the child, but also for your own well-being. I feel so much better when I’m with my daughter.
See, children look at their parents as the god and savior we are supposed to be for them. Just imagine if you grew up without your God? What if your God turned his back on you? Most people get on their knees and pray whenever they’re searching for answers to their problems, but children think parents have all the answers. When a father is not involved in a child’s life, that’s one less solution that child can find. Dads are the in-thing now, so why not be part of the trend? The only benefit that you will have is a great and loving child.
We all want our children to marry a great person, someone decent, with integrity and a lot of character. Well, we have to start rearing better children, in order for them to find better mates. Your bad examples of today can very well be their worst example for tomorrow. Let’s break the cycle and raise generation-next better!