The emasculation of the black man

While living life as a black man in America can be a daily struggle and difficult enough as it is, too many of us are displaying behaviors detriment to our treatment here by other people. It appears as if every other race seems to have a vendetta against black men because of society’s bad perception of us. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a doctor, lawyer, president, writer, engineer, governor, garbage man, maintenance worker and teacher, we all seem to get the worst treatment in sociey as a whole. For those of you who actually choose to sell drugs to your own people and feel that your actions are justified because of the hardships that you face, you’re just soft and not strong enough to be a man. I have yet to write a memoir because I don’t think it’s time yet. However, hardship and struggle lived at my doorstep from the time I was a teenager when I was forced to leave home and almost had to fend for myself. The easy(some people actually think it’s easier to sell drugs than getting a job) drug money and other petty crimes weren’t oblivious to me, but I chose to stay focused in order to keep, not just my integrity, but also my sanity and pride. I wanted to be a man, not just some punk who felt going to prison had to be a rite of passage for all black men.

It’s all good for the former drug dealers to recognize their mistakes after serving time, and some of them even end up capitalizing on their mistakes by writing about it in books that so many people have developed voracious appetites for. However, on the grand scale of things, your poor decisions and your mistakes have cost an entire race of black men their dignity and pride at the hands of police and society as a whole. Those of us who took pride enough in ourselves to do the right thing by attending college to become lawyers, doctors, engineers, and even those who have buckled down to maintain menial jobs to feed their families, have suffered the consequences of your actions. Do you know how embarrassing it is to be pulled over on the highway and to have your hands placed on the hood of your BMW or Mercedes that you work so hard to pay for, because a few drug dealers have enjoyed the same choice of luxury? Have you ever been pulled over just because you are a black man and the cop wants to keep you from getting to work or your destination on time because he has to make sure your car is legit? Do you how denigrating it is to be followed around in a store because you’re a black man? Do you know the frustration we experience when people’s assumptions of us is always criminally related?

The real questtion is, who’s emasculating us? Are we the main culprit in our emasculation?

I’m sure many people will stand up to remind me that white people commit crimes and do all the things that are associated with black people as well. To be honest, I don’t really care about what white people are doing, because we don’t have as much of an impact on their lives as they do on ours. When was the last time you saw a group of black cops beating on a white man in a video? When was the last time you saw a white man getting pulled over for driving while white? Have you ever heard of an unarmed white man getting shot to death by cops? I can go on and on, but the point that I want to make is that we need to change our direction. We need to become the leaders that we were born to be and stop using lame excuses for our failures. The next time you’re out there thinking about committing a crime, just think about the impact it will have on a generation of men that are not even born yet. Your poor decision in life will impact the life of my future son, your son, the neighbor’s son, your brother’s son and anybody out there that you don’t know who end up with a black son.

Let’s put a stop to the emasculation of oursleves!

6 replies
  1. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    As a black woman, this entry really opened my eyes to the struggle that black men face everyday.

    Black men who choose to sell drugs and engage in other criminal behavior need to stop emasculating themselves, but black women need to stop it as well. We need to step up and be more supportive, what happened to believing in our men and helping them realize that they have value?


    I don’t agree with it’s the drug dealers fault nor the former drug dealers fault about so-called legal black men being pulled over n etc.
    Those actions that r being taken on so-called legal black men r simply racist actions n not the fault of so-called former drug dealers nor present drug dealers.
    Those actions where taken long before so-called black drug dealers ever came about n those actions will continue whether drugs r sold by black men or not.I do believe that it’s time for the black men to grow up but ur prospective is way off my brother, but hey, this is ur post or book or what have u, so u can put what u feel n think toward issues. I just happen to respectfully DISAGREE WITH YOU MY BROTHER !!!

  3. Richard Jeanty
    Richard Jeanty says:

    @eryk, to be honest, I have no respect for drug dealers because anybody who can make the decision to ruin his own community is a coward to me. However, I will let you know that they have contributed to the suspicion of all black men. My post was about crime in general, but drugs are more prevalent to the destruction of the black community, so it was highlighted. Brothers need to man up and set the right examples for themselves and their children.

  4. Tamika Anderson
    Tamika Anderson says:

    RJ I Agree wholeheartedly! It is OUR OWN thats emasculating US as a whole on a constant basis! Hell just look at some of the facebook post, baby mama baby/daddy drama, people repping gangs and drug corners and being proud of it! Look at the you tube videos from across the country of OUR boys and men fighting for no reason because it’s funny to them at the time but to stupid to realize, they put it on you tube and will be caught!!! And I agree with the drug dealers statement, I swear if I could I’d wipe em all out myself! I’ve seen and lived the death and destruction they cause without so much as an ounce of caring about the lives they’ve ruined! I’m also tired of the excuses as to WHY most feel they have to live, and act a certain way from music videos to seeing those embarrassing fools on the news, to the you tube videos of OUR black men acting just like the animals they accuse others of treating them like, beating up on someone who can’t fight them back, attacking girls that walk down the street, walking around with their hair undone looking completely crazy, I mean when does it stop! I don’t want to hear anymore woe is me stories in the rap songs or for those folks trying to sell drugs like it’s their only option! We were built as a people stronger than that! When are we going to start exhibiting it??? My hubby and I are raising our sons to be that ‘stronger’ man! I have a few stories I’ve written that entails the lives of NOT the drug dealer but the people who grew up around it, the peer pressure, the almost threats of everyday life but chose the other way out. SMH, I can’t wait for our people to wake up and BUY a clue!

  5. D
    D says:

    Black men and women need to take controle of their lives and stop making excuses about how they weren’t lucky growing up and start taking responsibility for their own action.

    Stop destroying our own future generation by selling drug to our own children.

    For decades now white people have their heads swollen on thinking they’re better than us, we need to change that, we need to stop letting people pointing fingers @ us, we can do better.

    We need to earn our respects so others can c us in a different light.

    We, as black people need to stop being the element of crimes in general.

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