This blog is probably going to rub many people the wrong way, but the subject must be addressed, because it’s a phenomenon plaguing the black community. I recently read something that was quoted by Kevin Hart’s ex-wife where she said “she didn’t mind a side bitch taking over sometimes,” or something to that effect. Well, let’s open Pandora’s box and address the root of this problem. First of all, whether we like it or not, African blood runs through the veins of all black people, so it is only natural that our African instinct drives us to do certain things, and display certain behavior that are relative to our heritage. Polygamy is practiced by 26 out of 54 countries in Africa. It is a lifestyle best suited for those who believe in a village concept. We’re quick to use the old African proverb “it takes a village to raise a child,” but we have no idea how connected to polygamy that proverb actually is. The idea of a village has much to do with a man having multiple wives and multiple children by his wives, while living in the same commune. That man is able to create his own village, using the resources from his wives and children’s labor.
I understand that all of us in the western world have been raised in the most hypocritical racist white system, where we are told that we can only have one wife or one husband. I call it hypocritical, because most white men, especially those with the financial means, almost always have more than one mistress. During slavery, their mistresses ended up being those slaves that they raped, and whose voices they silenced, because of the power of white supremacy. If you’re brown to light skinned, thank an old white rapist for having raped your great great grandparents. Anyway, since white people considered having more than one wife openly uncivilized, they decided to do it in secret in various ways. Many wealthy white businessmen have secret families. It goes to show the length they will go to hide their hypocrisy. Let’s forward to modern times; by modern, I mean we can go back 100 years and find that the phenomenon of side chicks existed way back when. We may attach the stigma of “side chick” to this phenomenon, but black men have had children outside of their marriage since the beginning of time, and so have white men. Many of us have brothers and sisters that we don’t even know, especially if our parents were married for a long time. A lot of men take the secret of their “outside’ children to their graves with them. It’s not just a black thing, it’s rampant in the white community, but white people want to be hypocritical about their “uncivilized” behavior. The idea of a village is accepted in many countries in Africa openly, and young girls are raised to understand that custom. We live in a world where we have adopted the selfish, “me! me! me!” ways of white people, and we have lost our culture and identity through their pillaging. No one is a bigger hypocrite than Trump. He’s had many mistresses and cheated on every woman he has ever been married to, and he lies to our faces every day about everything. That is the typical white way, and the way business has been conducted by them since way back. If you don’t believe me, you can use president Thomas Jefferson as reference. Ask his family how all his black children came about? Well, John F. Kennedy, Bill Clinton and even the good reverends Jesse Jackson and Dr. Martin Luther King could not explain their need for a side chick. In Bill Clinton and Trump’s case, we don’t have enough fingers to count, since they both have an affinity for loose women and hookers. Anyway, the point is, you can be critical of men and side chick all you want, but the problem will not be resolved until a viable solution is reached.
How do we solve this problem? #1: we can look at the problem from many different angles. You can be that woman who’s tenacious and want to stay true to your convictions about a monogamous relationship, but it doesn’t mean that you’re going to find a guy who’s completely monogamous. Most men act like they are monogamous, because women won’t accept their polygamous behavior. Most husbands fantasize about other women, but if given the opportunity, they would actually live out that fantasy. Some women would live out their fantasy with 2 men as well. Actually, I know a few women who have handled 2 men at a time. I don’t judge. I’m in no position to judge at all. LOL Since men are forced to act like their world revolves around that one special woman in their lives, they often become the best actors. #2: You can also be that tenacious woman without a man who wants her needs fulfilled, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll be fulfilled by a man who’s single. Sometimes some women desire men that are already taken. I shouldn’t even say sometimes, because some women enjoy the challenge of sleeping with another woman’s man. It’s a different type of conquest for some women. As a matter of fact, I have met plenty of women who only date married men. They don’t want to deal with his emotional baggage on a full-time basis. They send him to his wife to deal with all his bullshit. There wouldn’t be so many side chicks, if women weren’t willing to play the side role. Given the opportunity, these side chicks would gladly accept their role as second wives, but society doesn’t want to accept that fact. #3: Black men can act like the docile children of white people by forcing themselves to be monogamous and accept their fate as husbands to one woman for the rest of their lives, but it doesn’t mean their marriage will last. The divorce rate among African Americans is 70%, and the marriage rate for African American women is 52%. We tend to look at the surface when a marriage doesn’t work out, but never once have we actually taken the time to see how an additional wife may actually contribute to a union in a way that will make the union last a lifetime. Most women make the abrupt decision to end their marriage after discovering their husband might have cheated, but a lot of those women never consider that the next man they meet might also be a cheater. Only 32% of black women remarry after a divorce, and half those marriages end up in divorce again. What’s a woman to do? Well, if you leave it in the hands of men, you’re not going to do anything. Another woman might take the burden of a husband who has become a pain in your ass. Take a break. Let the other wife deal with him, while you get out your frustrations. A second or third wife might serve you some good, if you look at it from a selfless point of view. #4: we should take a look at the fact that black women outnumber black men in every state. So who do you think those women who can’t find a man to call their own are sleeping with? When it comes to lust, morals are out the window. First of all, most men have very little moral to begin with, so they are easily coerced into affairs. Come on, not even saintly Dr. King was faithful to his wife. All those reverends you look up to, are also cheating and leaving their wives for younger women. From Al Sharpton to Jesse Jackson, and those other pastors who are on the down low, sending naked pictures to young boys, there’s no moral compass anywhere that can be used to sustain a population of men with high morals. They are corrupted in the church, in politics, law enforcement, business and anywhere they can be found. The only solution to this problem is polygamy. Men’s insatiable appetite can only be controlled by allowing them to have as much of something that you are trying to keep from him. Most men are like children, you give them enough of the toys they like, sooner or later they’ll make one a favorite. Believe it or not, if given the opportunity to have as many wives as possible, most men would probably end up with no more than two. I say two, because most men can’t even handle one woman.
I’m not necessarily advocating for polygamy, but I wanted to objectively outline some of the reasons for so many failed marriages. I truly believe polygamy would be an asset to the black community. Just think about the positive attributes such as; multiple incomes. You can buy a house big enough where all the children can be raised together, and maintaining the house will be less of a problem, because there would be so many different people available to help. No more daycare! Most people take their children to a daycare everyday to be watched by strangers. It would be beneficial to have someone you’re close to and you know well, to watch your children. An extra wife can help with that. Financially, it would benefit the black community, because pooling financial resources would sustain the family and make it a stronger unit. Men with multiple baby mamas weaken their own family unit, because they must spread their money to different homes, in order to provide for their children. Emotionally, it would benefit the women, because they’d have another wife to take on the burden of an unhappy husband who might’ve had a bad. At the very least, they’d have each other to talk to, while leaving the husband alone to deal with stress. Sexually, it would keep your husband satisfied, as well as yourself, depending on the man you marry. Most men like variety, as do some women, but more women are built to be monogamous. Psychologically, it would benefit your children, because they would learn unity and sharing. If a woman or man is raised to be without any jealousy or envy of another woman or man, there will be no issues if they have to share their man or woman with one another. In Namibia, the nomadic tribes of Novahimba and Novazimba actually allow their visitor or friend to sleep with their wives. It’s called the “Okujepisa Omukazendu” treatment. In America, white people call it swinging. You see, they do exactly what other races do, but they always find a way to belittle other cultures. When you are raised without certain prejudices, nuances and hang-ups, you tend to see things in a different cultural manner. Of course, we can never re-calibrate our minds to accept the African way of life, because we have been in the west for too many generations. However, we have also taken from the practice of the west, “lying, deceiving, cheating, infidelity, philandering” and many other destructive behaviors that prevent us from staying married. If your husband can bring home another woman that you are fully aware he’s involved with, you would take every cautionary measure to make sure she’s safe, he’s safe, your health is not at risk, and your children’s livelihood is protected. If he’s out there doing everything behind your back, the entire family and marriage is at risk, because once he’s caught, or if he brings home a disease, or a baby is discovered, the entire family goes through a traumatic experience that the white culture has brought on us, that they don’t even know how to deal with themselves. Shows like “Sister Wives” can now be found on mainstream television, but it is not legal for a man to have more than one wife in this country. White people have managed to find ways around polygamy that benefit them, but few black people are willing to explore the benefits of polygamy, because we are all caught up with our selfishness, brought on us by the white race. White people have always found ways to have their cakes and eat it too, but black people can’t do that, because we are always in survival mode.