Why do cheaters cheat with their mates’ close friends and family members?

Freaky Friday’s here and I would like to engage you in a conversation that most people don’t want to be a part of. First of all, I need to state that my moral compass is no higher than most people, but nevertheless, I do have morals.

I often hear about cases of infidelity from the wounded mate, but it’s not often the cheater comes out and admits his/her act of cheating without trying to justify his/her bad decision. Quiet as it’s kept, there are far more cheaters out there than faithful people. Most cheaters feel a sense of validation when they cheat, because they can always blame it on something that is lacking in their personal relationship. However, if you are going to cheat, why would you cheat with someone who’s close to your mate?

I’m one of those guys who has always been against “sloppy seconds.” I’m not built for it. I always have to be first. It would be hard for me to sleep with a woman who’s in a relationship with a friend or family member. Morally, I would automatically lose respect for a woman who would knowingly try to sleep with me even if I’m just an acquiantance of her partner’s. I honestly feel people with loose morals always have some type of justification for their ill behavior. Out of the millions of people available on this planet, why would you want to focus on the ones forbidden to you?

That argument is easy enough, but when you think about it, people can only cheat with other people that they have the most access to. If the best friend is always around, chances are he/she probably knows the situation between you and your mate. Your vulnerability is their best asset and they can use it to manipulate you into thinking that they are a better option, and before you know it, you’re sobbing and sulking in the arms of the so called best friend who has now become the enemy, not just to his best friend, but also to you. If you really think about it, the best friend is actually a worst individual than the mate you’re cheating on. What kind of best friend or family member leaves himself open to the possibility of sleeping with his/her best friend’s mate?

I know that society has changed in the last few decades, but the selfish attitude that some of us carry is only going to take us in the wrong direction. Next time you’re ready to spread your legs to your mate’s best friend, or  get between the legs of your mate’s best friend, think about your lack of judgment and morals, but more importantly, you need to look at the friend and ask yourself, was he/she ever a friend to your mate to begin with?

Is 60 seconds of pleasure really worth it? It doesn’t matter how long or how hard you go at it, it comes to down to 60 seconds of pleasure when you climax. 2-3 hours of sex ends up with the same result, 60 seconds of screaming, convulsing, shaking and trembling. I’m even being generous with the 60 seconds. The ultimate goal is to climax, no nut is that golden!

You really think you know men?

Since today is Freaky Friday, I want to go back to the Friday roots and keep it freaky and steamy. However, I also want to convey a message to many of the women out there who think they know so much about men.

So it’s Friday night and he calls you up for a date and you accept, because you don’t want to be in the house alone. He’s excited about seeing you and he wants to put his all into it to ensure you have a good time. He rummages through his closet and finds the best looking slacks, shirt, shoes, belt, and even maybe his best suit to impress you. On the dresser, he reaches for his special cologne, not the one he wears everyday, but the expensive one that he only wears on special occasions. He sprays more than usual around his neck, behind his ears and wrists hoping to gain your attention when you first see him. The car has been cleaned and detailed spotless. He’s looking forward to a great time with you. He even follows up with the restaurant to make sure the reservation is intact. All he’s thinking about is being in your presence for the very first time. There’s no hard-on or any bulge in his pants yet, he’s excited about the first date and wants to get to know you.

Finally, he’s at your door and you’re still not ready. He gives you an extra 15 minutes, but he’s a little agitated because he worked hard to get the reservation at the restaurant. You finally emerge from the bedroom after he’s been sitting in your livingroom, assessing your decorating style, your cleanliness and your sense of time and responsibility. Later on, they will all play a factor in his decision to continue on with courting you. You look sexy as hell and your tardiness is all but forgotten. He’s happy to see that you look so good. He asks to use your bathroom before he leaves. He relieves himself and quickly heads out to the restaurant with you to make it on time. You have small talk in the car, but he’s a little cautious and reserve. You are very independent, professional, educated, beautiful and smart. You live in an upper-middleclass neighborhood. He knows this, no need to reiterate. The sexy black dress you’re wearing forces the blood to leave his brain to travel down to his pants while he’s driving, but he’s able to conceal this natural occurence from you. You get more nods and one-word answers from him than you would like, but how he can concentrate when your legs look so delicious near the center consul? You almost make him feel like he’s out of his league, because you told him about the last few guys you dated who were doctors, lawyers, professional athletes and executives. He reaches behind his seat and surprisingly hands you a dozen roses and tells you how good you look, nervously. You thank him and instantly bring the roses to your nose to let him know you appreciate the gesture. He’s thinking he might have a shot at this otherwise, unbelievable woman.

We’re gonna fast forward to the end of the night for a minute. You filled your stomach with the most expensive dishes; you never threw one compliment his way and you find out his blue collar job is not what you want from a man, but worst he didn’t meet your education requirement, salary requirement, looks requirement, articulation requirement and height requirement. And you couldn’t understand why he drove a Nissan Sentra. Why the fuck did you go out with him then? To waste his money and time?

Ain’t nothing steamy about this damn post. I wanna know why women like to play these stupid ass games. 50% of professional black women are single and I’m just trying to find out the reasons behind this trend. I’m gonna try to be the voice for these brothers who come from all walks of life, but I need the women to be honest with themselves and the reasons they tend to overlook certain men. This is not to generalize all women, but too many women have this long checklist that they’re walking around with that keeps them single.

Ladies, holla!

Fellas, let them know how you feel!

These are some of the issues I will be addressing in my new book, What Women Need to Know About men.

So you wanna get married, huh?

Since I’m a divorced father of a beautiful princess, I can only hope that one day I get the chance to walk her down the aisle, if that’s what she wants to do. However, before she even thinks about walking down the aisle, I have to get her prepared for that phase in her life.

Most little girls grow up to be women with dreams of finding their prince charming one day, but the problem lies with the fact that too many little girls have never gotten a chance to be a princess. You can’t be with a prince if you don’t know what it’s like to be a princess. I’m not blaming the ladies for not experiencing the royal treatment of a princess throughout their lives, but I will ask for the men to step up and show their little girls what it’s like to be a princess, because they will make better wives.

Most black women are reluctant to admit that they have daddy issues, and often times, they don’t try to resolve them before getting into a serious relationship with a man. Your father is supposed to be the first image that you have of a man as a little girl, whether positive or negative. If you have a great daddy in your life, chances are, you will end up with a great man because you will be able to make a better choice due to the example that your father set forth. However, if your daddy wasn’t all that great, you may also end up with a man similar to him, which won’t help your relationship. In order to break this negative cycle, you either have to sit with your “inadequate father”  and talk it out with him or go to the next psych clicnic to seek professional help.

Most people don’t place too much emphasis on the fact that a great relationship can only be built when we resolve our own issues first. We can’t lean towards a partner to help resolve something that has been a part of our lives before we met him/her. Those issues have to be addressed beforehand so that a prosperous relationship can develop. I dont wanna knock anybody for wanting to form a loving union with with a partner, but let’s remove the struggling part of that union before we even get started. There are too many beautiful, prefessional, intelligent and single sisters out there. We need to build the black family and it all starts with us.