You really think you know men?

Since today is Freaky Friday, I want to go back to the Friday roots and keep it freaky and steamy. However, I also want to convey a message to many of the women out there who think they know so much about men.

So it’s Friday night and he calls you up for a date and you accept, because you don’t want to be in the house alone. He’s excited about seeing you and he wants to put his all into it to ensure you have a good time. He rummages through his closet and finds the best looking slacks, shirt, shoes, belt, and even maybe his best suit to impress you. On the dresser, he reaches for his special cologne, not the one he wears everyday, but the expensive one that he only wears on special occasions. He sprays more than usual around his neck, behind his ears and wrists hoping to gain your attention when you first see him. The car has been cleaned and detailed spotless. He’s looking forward to a great time with you. He even follows up with the restaurant to make sure the reservation is intact. All he’s thinking about is being in your presence for the very first time. There’s no hard-on or any bulge in his pants yet, he’s excited about the first date and wants to get to know you.

Finally, he’s at your door and you’re still not ready. He gives you an extra 15 minutes, but he’s a little agitated because he worked hard to get the reservation at the restaurant. You finally emerge from the bedroom after he’s been sitting in your livingroom, assessing your decorating style, your cleanliness and your sense of time and responsibility. Later on, they will all play a factor in his decision to continue on with courting you. You look sexy as hell and your tardiness is all but forgotten. He’s happy to see that you look so good. He asks to use your bathroom before he leaves. He relieves himself and quickly heads out to the restaurant with you to make it on time. You have small talk in the car, but he’s a little cautious and reserve. You are very independent, professional, educated, beautiful and smart. You live in an upper-middleclass neighborhood. He knows this, no need to reiterate. The sexy black dress you’re wearing forces the blood to leave his brain to travel down to his pants while he’s driving, but he’s able to conceal this natural occurence from you. You get more nods and one-word answers from him than you would like, but how he can concentrate when your legs look so delicious near the center consul? You almost make him feel like he’s out of his league, because you told him about the last few guys you dated who were doctors, lawyers, professional athletes and executives. He reaches behind his seat and surprisingly hands you a dozen roses and tells you how good you look, nervously. You thank him and instantly bring the roses to your nose to let him know you appreciate the gesture. He’s thinking he might have a shot at this otherwise, unbelievable woman.

We’re gonna fast forward to the end of the night for a minute. You filled your stomach with the most expensive dishes; you never threw one compliment his way and you find out his blue collar job is not what you want from a man, but worst he didn’t meet your education requirement, salary requirement, looks requirement, articulation requirement and height requirement. And you couldn’t understand why he drove a Nissan Sentra. Why the fuck did you go out with him then? To waste his money and time?

Ain’t nothing steamy about this damn post. I wanna know why women like to play these stupid ass games. 50% of professional black women are single and I’m just trying to find out the reasons behind this trend. I’m gonna try to be the voice for these brothers who come from all walks of life, but I need the women to be honest with themselves and the reasons they tend to overlook certain men. This is not to generalize all women, but too many women have this long checklist that they’re walking around with that keeps them single.

Ladies, holla!

Fellas, let them know how you feel!

These are some of the issues I will be addressing in my new book, What Women Need to Know About men.

4 replies
  1. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    There’s nothing wrong with a woman having expectations in a man, as long as they are practical. If we worked hard to get an education, maintain a successful career and take care of ourselves, then why shouldn’t we expect a man to at least match that? I’m not saying he has to be a baller, but he does need to bring something to the table.

    Perhaps, the 50% of women who are single have unrealistic expectations, or our “standards” have standardized us right out of potentially meaningful relationships.

  2. parker.keisha
    parker.keisha says:

    I HAVE ALOT GOING FOR MYSELF AND I WANT A MAN WHO HAS THING GOING ON FOR HISSELF AS WELL BUT I DONT JUDGE A MAN BY THE SIZE OF HIS HOUSE,CAR,OR WALLET JUST HIS HEART BUT MEN DONT GO FOR THE WOMAN THAT IS WILLING TO MEET HIM HALF WAY THERE
    THEY GO FOR THE ONES THAT WILL PLAY THEM FOR EVERYTHING THEY HAVE

  3. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    So a woman is not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but when we read the intro chapter and discover we aren’t interested we get blamed for that too? I see nothing in your scenario that would encourage either party to go out again, aside from the fact that the guy thinks the woman is sexy.

    Not to go for a tit for tat gender war thing, I think guys need to understand that just being a man (meaning just having a penis) is not reason enough for a woman to date you. Just like a woman just having an opening between her legs is not enough to date her. Sometimes you click sometimes you don’t, that’s why you date, to find that out.

    If taking a woman out and trying to impress her is beyond your means, either switch up the plan to suit YOUR budget and lifestyle, or find a different type of woman. Or don’t date.

  4. Dee
    Dee says:

    First of of all, a compliment is a must! u don’t have to know how hard the guy tried to make a good impression on you, if he looks good you gotta tell him.

    We all have expectations. Perhaps the 50% of women who are still single out there are the goldiggers. These women think if a man is driving a (BENZ) or wear nice clothes most likely he got it going on. Well, this is where the women are wrong! just because something looks good on the surface We should never assume it’s perfect.

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