I haven’t written anything of substance that would require you to go beneath the surface of your brain to figure out certain things in your life. Sometimes I get in a zone where my psychoanalytical skills come into play, and something wonderful comes out.
I was just thinking about humanity’s necessity for love and how all of us thrive to be loved by our family, spouse and friends. In this fray of an endless search for love, we very seldom take a minute to examine where that love is coming from. We just wanna be loved at all cost, and there’s plenty of people out there willing to quench that thirst and satisfy our needs.
First of all, we must question our need for love. Do we wanna be loved just because, or is love something that will make us feel complete? Some of us accept pain as part of love. “Love hurts” they say. How can something so wonderful be painful? People in general are great chameleons. They’ll come into a situation and assess the need for love in a matter of a minute, especially when it has to do with neglect. There would be no pimps in the world, and no street walkers, if love wasn’t absent in the lives of those prostitutes that are being pimped. Even in prostitution there’s a search for love. In that particular case, it’s daddy’s love. Don’t worry, you can find plenty of women on the poles at the strip club void of daddy’s love as well. There are plenty of men who lack their mother’s love as well, so they seek it in their partner, forcing their partner to play dual roles of wife and mother in their lives. Love is so broad and it is so domineering, we try to find it in almost anything. Some people love their homes, cars, boat, children or spouse. Shit, we even love the weather. It’s just wonderful to love, right? Meanwhile, some people just love their habit and addiction. Actually, there’s a lot more people in love with their habit than they are in love with their family and children. However, it’s natural to proclaim our love for our children to the world, even when it’s not demonstrated. A crackhead doesn’t love his/her children any less than a functional addict, or a sober person.
We have a lot failed marriages and relationships in the black community, because so many black people never got accustomed to love the way humanity intended. White people took that ability away from us when they enslaved our forefathers. We have had to learn to love with faults. Meaning, “Love me as I am” should be perfectly normal. Nobody wants to be changed, in order to be loved. Mediocrity is accepted, as long as love is relevant.
In 2018, I’m asking to start questioning the love that you are receiving from certain people in your life. If a PERSON is a diabetic, and he/she can’t figure out a way to stop drinking, because his/her drinking affects his/her diabetes and health, that person doesn’t even love him/herself. So, how can they love somebody else? If a person suffers from high blood pressure and they can’t give up salt to save their lives, how can that person proclaim to love somebody else? If a drug addict doesn’t love himself enough to put himself through rehab to overcome his addiction for the love of self, how can he love somebody else? You must love yourself first. We’re over here accepting bullshit shallow love from anybody who’s willing to offer it, because it feels good, but we want to get mad when the person does things that signal that he doesn’t even love him/herself? This is especially true for people with children. You can’t keep boasting to the world your love for your children, but you’re not making sure they have a loving relationship with you and an overall better well-adjusted life than you. It’s fucking selfish! We have to start examining what it is to be loved, and what love means in our lives.
You’d think I have the answers, right? No sir! I have no answers. I’m simply observing the phenomenon of love, and the hypocrisy attached to it.