Ladies, be careful how you play the “sucker” game!

Recently I’ve been reading about the insane behaviors of many men in the black community here in America and abroad, but more specifically in Haiti. There’s a video going around with a man explaining to people why he killed his baby’s mother. Of course, there’s absolutely no reason why anybody should be murdered, especially a woman at the hands of a man, but we must also keep in mind the emotional state of someone when they commit murder. Most often when a mother is murdered by her her baby’s father, the father is taken to prison for life, and the child suffers for the rest of his/her life as a result. No one wins!  We can blame the abuser all we want, but at the end of the day, none of us know how insane someone can really be, given the circumstances. I need to preface this in a way, so that people don’t start chastising me because I’m trying to shed light on the possible psychological state of a person who has been wronged. First of all, I have 2 daughters, and my job as a father is to make sure my daughters respect themselves, and figure out their own way to become independent. I’m always going to be there for them emotionally, financially, and if they need me to whoop somebody’s ass physically. However, I must also make my daughters understand that people sometimes act irrationally, and they must always take people’s feelings into consideration before they think about using a person for their own personal benefit and gain, and to watch how they talk to the men they want to date. Having said that, I’ve also been a victim of someone’s lies and deception. When I was 25 years old, a woman told me that she was pregnant by me. Of course, I knew there was a possibility that I could’ve been the father just for having slept with her, but I also knew there was a greater possibility that I wasn’t the father at all because of how it went down that night. Still, I owned up to the responsibility and I took on the role of a father. I established a bond with the baby, and I started planning my life around the baby. A few months later, I found myself in a situation where I needed to confirm the baby was mine. I wasn’t trying to deny my responsibility, but I wanted confirmation, because finances became more important to the mother than the livelihood of the baby. Mind you, I had spent thousands of dollars on this child for the better part of the 6 months I thought I was the father. A part of me also embraced fatherhood. To make a long story short, a DNA test revealed that I was not the father, and furthermore, the mother disclosed to me she knew that I wasn’t the father all along, but I was a better father figure for her child, so she decided to pin it on me. Luckily, my father was around the day I received the results, and he was able to calm me down and talk me through the tough situation I was dealing with. I know plenty of other men this has happened to, and some of them reacted differently than I did. This was a woman who knowingly tried to take advantage of a situation, just because I had the financial means and the better fortitude to be a father to her child. She did all this without my consent. Imagine how I would’ve felt if I found out 10 years later that little girl was not biologically mine? I don’t know what I would’ve done then. My emotions are not etched in stones. Most women believe it shouldn’t matter as long as the bond with the child is strong, but for a man, it’s not just about the bond with the child, but the lies told by the woman when she’s already aware the possibilities for paternity might belong to another man. There’s a huge difference between somebody cheating once or twice, and a lifetime responsibility for a child.

Now, getting back to the subject of women who have been murdered at the hands of insane men, because these women think they can toy with a man’s emotions. For some reason, a lot of women tend to believe some men are suckers for providing for them, and being upstanding in a relationship. When a man is emotionally invested in a woman or a child, there’s no telling how he might react if the woman starts to be disrespectful toward him, and treats him like shit. In the case of the video that I saw, the man was very calm, as he explained to witnesses that he was with this woman for 14 years, paid for her to attend nursing school, paid for her housing since they met, and took care of her and his daughter financially since they met. I’m not saying she’s a bad person, because I didn’t know her, but she didn’t put herself in the man’s shoes when she told him she could no longer be with him, because she was a nurse now, and needed to be with a doctor. That would be a hard pill to swallow for any man who paid her way through college and took care of her for 14 years. It’s one thing if you no longer want to be with somebody, but to belittle the person while making your point, is despicable! Again, her murder is not justified at all, but in the heat of the moment, some of men can react emotionally different to situations. After saying that to the man, he grabbed the nearest weapon he could find, which was a knife, and proceeded to stab her. He, himself wished she had just talked to him when he requested that they talk, and it would’ve never gotten to that point. It’s not my business to understand their situation, because only his side can be heard, but I want to warn women to stop using men for their own gain, and then turn around and disrespect them because they now feel they are above them.  Too many women believe it’s about them. They seldom see the danger they put themselves in by talking any crazy old way to a man. Yes, you can always call the cops on your abuser, but the cops are never next door, and they never show up in 10 seconds. There’s always plenty of opportunities for a man to hurt, or even kill you. We have all these feminists out there fighting for women’s rights, but none of them are making women safety a primary issue, by advising these women to keep their mouth shut, and not to escalate situations by disrespecting a man in his own house when you’re alone with him. Unfortunately, too many black women didn’t grow up with a dad who could give them advice on certain situations when it comes to men. First of all, using a man for your own financial gain, especially if your intentions are to just take advantage as long as he cares about you, can lead to deadly consequences. I have seen some of the most docile men become violent, because they have been betrayed by a woman that they have invested in financially. Emotional investment in a woman is one thing, but when a man cares enough about you to send you to school to make you a better woman, you must respect that man, and you must be honest and upfront with him about your intentions. A lot men have thrown their lives away because they don’t know how to control their emotion and reaction. No one would plead “insanity” in court, if insanity was not just cause for certain reaction. Calling a man who has done everything for you, ” a sucker, a punk, a bitch ass Ninja, or a lame,” can lead to your demise. I understand what the feminists are doing to your mind, but please understand no matter how soft a man might be, there’s always something that can drive him to insanity, and you’ll be shocked when he reveals what he’s capable of. Stay out of harm’s way by keeping your disrespectful comments to yourself when you’re confronted alone with a man. It might just save your life!

Again, murder is never justified under any circumstances, but women need to smarten up when it comes to the games that they play with men who fall for them, and invest in them financially. If somebody made you, the least you can do is respect them, because they saw the potential in you, and thought highly enough of you to invest in a better future for you. Being disrespectful when you’re alone with a man, is always going to work against you. If you don’t respect a man who will dedicate his hard earned money to give you a better life, then you’re just a scumbag who should just be by yourself. There are plenty of better women out there who want a good man, but too many skeezers are aggressively turning the good apples to bad apples. This is not a game! You’re playing with your life!

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