It takes all of us to break the cycle
I’ve addressed this topic many times in the past, but this on-going phenomenon seems to be a problem that a lot of people can’t seem to resolve because of selfishness.
If you were pissed as a little boy because your father was nowhere to be found in your life, and you turn out to be an angry man because of it, you should try everything in your power to make sure you are the best father to your own children. There’s absolutely no reason and no excuse to be so selfish, as to force your own children to endure the same trials, tribulations, and the experience of an absent father. In addition, you should also be aware of the struggles of a single mother, because you witnessed firsthand the struggles your mother faced, while raising you as a single mother. For that reason alone, you should do everything possible to ease the pain and the burden on the woman who agreed to carry your child/children. Being a father doesn’t mean you have to necessarily be with the mother in an amorous relationship. I understand that people break up sometimes, and relationships don’t work out, but your child is forever. Forget child support, your presence as a man is more important than any amount of money you can contribute to a child’s life. I’m also not absolving men of financial responsibility as fathers. Children have needs! The attitude of turning your back on both, your child and the woman who gave birth to him/her, is absurd, because you should be aware that a woman can never be a father to your child. Having a child with a woman is not a package deal where you get to break up with both over foolishness. Your child came from your loins, and will forever be connected to your lineage. You can be as angry as you want after breaking up with the mother of your child, but you should never let that get in the way of being a father to your child. That mindset is self-serving and defeating to the bond that you need to establish with your child. You must also remember, a woman will most likely harbor more hatred toward you, when you decide to become an absent father to an innocent child who had nothing to do with your adult foolishness. Some men believe, for some odd reason, they’re hurting the woman by turning their back on their children, but they’re really hurting themselves. You are the one who’s going to miss on the opportunity to connect with your child. You are the one who’s going to have regrets for not having been there to see your child develop. You are the one who will be shut out of that child’s life when that child becomes an adult. Most of all, you are the one who will most likely be destitute for having turned your back on your children. Karma usually enjoys those absent-father scenarios.
As far as the women are concerned, please use a condom, choose your men wisely, wait at least a couple of years to get to know someone before you allow yourself to get pregnant, and use your mother’s struggles as single parent as reference to keep from becoming a single mother with child from a bum ass man yourself. It’s not that difficult. The “D” might be good for one night or two, or even a few months, but is it worth all the pain and agony of a child that you’re gonna have to look at for a lifetime? Your anger at the child will not make a responsible man out of his father. The ball is in your court, and you don’t have to get pregnant unless you want to. Please choose better men to have children with. Many of the kids of this generation are sorry, because many of them came from sorry ass parents. As a woman, when you make a poor and selfish decision to have unprotected sex with a “no good man” because of self-pleasure, you are no better than that “no good man.” You become a “no good woman,” because your poor decision will create a life that 2 no good people may not care about enough to settle their differences to come together help raise a well-adjusted human being.
We have to do better!