An open letter to my daughters.

My dear beautiful princesses,

It is with a heart filled with love that I write this letter to you today. I can only address certain issues for now, because I really have no idea what the future holds for either of you. All I know is, everything about my life has changed since the two of you came into my life. I don’t just want to be a dad, protector and provider, but I also want to be your guide, and set the best examples for you to follow, so you can avoid the traps of generational curses, and cyclical dysfunctions for the women in my family, and other black female victims in society. I’m nowhere near perfect as a human being or father, but I promise to always be the best father that I can be to both of you. There’s no blueprint in place for me to follow, so I must establish my own blueprint, and I know that I will falter along the way. The best that I can do is learn from my mistakes, and hope for your forgiveness for my lack of knowledge and experience in certain areas. I promise to do for you everything that I wish my own father should’ve done for me. My job as a father is to ensure a proper upbringing, a decent and well-balanced life, and a just education for the two of you.

I understand it’s a tough world out there and neither of you are old enough to even understand what I’m saying right now, but please understand that I worry about you. I wake up worrying about you everyday. If there was a place I could go to obtain superpowers, I would make that sacrifice for a better future for both of you. I hope to live vicariously through both of you one day. What I mean by that is, I want to watch you pursue your dreams without worrying about your personal livelihood on a daily basis. There were so many things that I wanted to be and wanted to do growing up, but I was limited. Life happened early for me. I didn’t have the luxury of becoming all I could be. I want to remove those limitations for you, and offer you a world with endless opportunities. I want you to understand that you are both  beautiful, intelligent and talented young girls who will develop to beautiful, intelligent and talented women one day. I want to be there every step of the way, and I can’t wait to display my pride when you’re able to tell the world the significant role I have played in your lives as a father and dad. I don’t hide the fact that my most important accomplishment in life has been my role as a father in your lives. I have had my happiest moments with the two of you, and it’s always joyous to be around you two. Still, I worry. The reason why I worry is because cowardice racist white men are attacking black women, and there doesn’t seem to be too many black men around to protect and defend them. I worry a man might think it’s okay to put his hands on you, even though I’ve made it my mission to never use corporal punishment to discipline you. That whipping and hitting crap is for slaves. I worry I didn’t have a son, so you could have a brother to stand up for you when punk ass men think you can be their doormat. I worry about spending the rest of my life in prison defending your honor against just about any man who wants to be disrespectful, abusive or hurtful to you. I worry that most men nowadays believe that most black women are gold diggers, waiting to be taken care of by them. I worry that a lot of women no longer see the value in being classy and feminine, because they are being sold on feminism. I worry that a two-piece bra and panties has become the uniform for all black female performers, no matter how successful they are. I worry that most young black female artists don’t understand their value, and are trying to be role models to little girls. The blind can’t lead the blind. I worry that society will continue to take advantage of your gender, even though you may be more capable than any man that they value more. I worry about men like Trump and Harvey Weinstein taking advantage of you, which would be a straight ticket to prison for me. I worry that you may be looking for love in all the wrong places some day. I worry that you may be influenced by the wrong people, despite my hard work to help guide you. I worry that you may think experimenting with drugs is cool. I worry that you may try to find your worth in a man. I worry you may feel there’s a ceiling to your achievements. And I worry that you may not understand my job is to teach you love, and the hard lessons that will prepare you for life, and sometimes you will get upset at me for trying to enforce those values.

I understand my job is to set the standards for the man that you will seek to marry later in life, but my standards are not always going to be the best. I have my faults, and you must recognize those faults, and not be attracted to them. I want y’all to understand there’s nothing wrong with nice guys. They are good for you. A lot of them will treat you the way you want to be treated. The way I want you to be elevated from princesses to queens one day. Bad boys are often insecure men who are looking for attention, because no one was there to give them the attention they needed as children. I know about this firsthand. I’ve been there. While I’m trying my best to set the best example as a provider, I also want y’all to know that you must be your own provider as well. You should never rely on anybody to provide for you. The most important part of any relationship is shared responsibilities. You must understand that you have to fulfill your role and hold up your part of any relationship. No one should be burden to carry a relationship alone. It doesn’t work that way. Last but not least, you must always be honest with your family, friends and partner, no matter how much it might hurt them. Being honest actually brings peace of mind to you. No one can ever call you a liar. In the face of adversity, you must embrace your true self and understand that no one is responsible for your action in life but you.

With all that said, I want both of you to know that I love you with all my heart and I will always fight for you with my last breath. Being a father has not been a job to me, it’s been a wonderful journey full of adventures.

Love,

Daddy.

0 replies

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply